A Hobbit's View

The day earth stood still…

2010-12-02T11:43:00.001-08:00

So this one Thursday morning I log onto Facebook and find that I see most of my friend’s profile pics containing abusive content. Initially I think it’s a Facebook bug, later I realize no one else is noticing that absurdity,its just me.After a long de-bugging process with my friends,sending across screen shots of what I see etc,I realize there is something really wrong on FB or with my account.It sure can not be a hacking of my account(I don't see anything suspicious on my account) also how can someone really change the content I view on others profile by compromising my account,so I conclude it’s a serious issue I need to report.I search on the web for any reported issues,I don’t find any of that sort,I then decide to seek FB Help,but it simply does not give me an option to report any issue what-so-ever.After huge rigmarole of running from list of topics,questions,answers,I feel very frustrated and more than that scared about my security on Facebook.As someone who is on Facebook for about 3-4hrs a day(I know!) I am still not sure if this is right direction to go,but I at once seize it as my golden opportunity to press "that" button.If I ever had to quit Facebook its now!Its almost like Facebook itself is pointing me to the door.I de-activate my account,inform my close friends and move on.But in the minute I was driving myself toward that decision,its almost like apocalypse to me,as that has what this addiction has come to be.For that small moment....my earth stood still:-(

Robot makes me write...

2010-10-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well…I must first warn you.Though I am a fan of Rajini,I aint that fan that prepared endlessly to celebrate the Endhiran First Day release,neither was I the kind that paid three times the money to watch Endhiran first day first show in a crappy theatre as I did to watch Avatar 3D in Imax.I didn’t whistle my lungs out through the movie so much so that I lost my voice for the next three days.I aint the kind either who would rush after the show to call back folks in India asking them to book tickets for the next available show.But none the less I must confess I am a Rajini fan in the sense I love to watch people do the above.Infact I watched the first day second show just to see what the hue and cry was about.I thouroughly enjoyed the experience.Watching this movie was more like buying a ticket to Six Flags and taking one ride after another,although in my case unlike the above Rajini true bloods it was a largely vicarious pleasure.Coming to the point,do not send people to knock me down if you do not like what I write,just ignore,delete DOT.
Heres what worked for me
1. Technology-Being close to 160 crore budget movie,obvious the technology had been put to good use but I also loved the way they had presented the entire Humanoid concept to a audience that might not understand every nut and bolt without making a technologist feel---Oh Cmon!It was truly refreshing to watch thalaivar deliver technical jargons sophisticatedly.What really impressed me as a Computer Science student was the paradox question put worth to the robot in the conference.Well Done!
2. Message-I know most of you are falling off your chairs reading this but yes after all that endless violence that made up the last part of the movie I felt was a message.The comparison of ill will,jealousy,anger to the red chip inserted in the robot kind of added to the point.Though I liked the message I had a problem how it was presented,discussed later.
3. Not a Shankar Ending-I love Shankar movies cause they try to beat the harsh reality,often make us ask questions…Indian,Gentleman, etc.They also try to solve everyday hardships with revolutionary and sometimes violent solutions.All the same after all that wonderful thinking having a fairy tale ending really kills it,I mean sometimes you just feel bad in a sense that Indian grandpa doesn’t exist or that we don’t have politicians like in Mudalvan or even youth who will get into politics with that strategy.Its more like watching a fairy tale movie with the dream ending and you just wish…..In the case of Endhiran though I liked the way he didn’t really end it his usual style like say Dr.Vasi deciding to secretly let Chitti roam around doing good stuff for people or say the army secretly deciding to buy Chitti and putting to use at the border.It had a ending that really left us thinking without wishing or being told whats the future of robots.I thought the ending got my biggest vote simply because it wasn’t a Rajini movie ending neither a Shankar movie ending,it ended the way sci-fi ends to end with-leaving the audience thinking “If”.
4. Graphics-I really do not have to say this…loved the army formations in the end,beautiful graphics…neat.
5. Rajinism-If one Rajini eshyle meant 200 decibels and a earth quake on magnitude 7.5 in the theatre,100 of Rajini twisting and turning in eshylish formations meant EXPLOSION.I had the vibrations and that feeling of vicarious euphoria resonate in my head and heart for hours after the movie got over.

What didn’t work for me
1. The extended climax-Despite the visual treat for the eyes with soo many Rajinis is various creative formations,at some point in time I was getting a headache with the endless violence.I began for my thrill ride to end.I liked most of the other rides in the movie but this one was just too long.
2. Violence-Yes,its official-I am sensitive.Could not stand watching people(largely policemen and army men) getting shot at like spraying Bagon on this infiltrating ant population at home.No,it did not work for me.I have never seen mob get killed with as much ease as in this one.What kind of annoyed me more was the reaction of the audience to this.
3. Improper ewaste disposal:-Lol!You knew that was coming but could not help question a CMU cum Stanford student just hammered his robot and threw in the landfill?!Disappointed!
4.Retrieving the red chip-Ah!Wished there had been a better way to stop V2.0 from tearing the city apart than just demagnetizing him and later miraculously pulling him alone into the van and carefully removing the red chip.Easy and disappointing.For all the CG stuff would have expected a more creative and entertaining closure to 2.0.But I realize at that point in time in the theater I just wanted the whole thing to end and didn't care in the least how.

OK you must have got the point,I really could not find anything that didn’t really work me.Now lets go the ritual.It was one movie I watched and felt proud of the way the director had dealt with the story and used his budget.It’s NOT yet another indian movie that people can make fun about,its just another sci-fi movie with a truly Tamil touch-aka Rajini touchJ.Even as I realise someday scientists will figure the neural schema in question and it will not really be a sci-fi but a reality there is one thing that might never get figured out and will always be that exciting phenomenon I am standing in line for hours in a rain to experience,its simply that ride I want to take despite the fear of losing my ear drum to the shrill of the crowds-it’s the magic of Rajini and the spell he casts on his fan folks DOT.

My adventures with nothing...

2010-05-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Several years ago my dad took me to a car shop.He insisted I needed a car for the journey of life.He choose the most reliable,safe and luxurious car.I was not even sure I wanted to drive a car on this journey called life.I had all along been dreaming a different dream.While at the store I picked this rare map to a exotic location.Despite not really intending to travel there I got it as it was on a good deal and knew several others would die for it.So then I took to the road and have been driving ever since.The road is smooth and the views are great.The car is luxurious and fully loaded.I often see several fellow travelers on their sometimes bigger and better cars.Some are happy,some inexpressive(that's what I call them),some with company,some all alone.They all seem to have their eyes on the road.Initially we used to carefully watch out and re-check on the guidelines on our map.Soon we realised all we had to do was to follow the road and it will take us to our destination.There are no turns,no bumps,just smooth straight road with a lot of traffic.We pass mountains,rivers,wonderful fields laden with flowers and bees.We just stop by once in a while to take pictures but we never step out of the comforts of our cars.I paste these pictures on the dashboard as a memory of where I have been.Sometimes it makes me wonder why I never stepped out...out into the fields laden with flowers,played in the meadows nearby,swam in the river or climbed the mountain.I tell myself I paid for the car and the map.The moment I step out,I am in danger,I might lose my car.We were told when we started on this journey that the moment you step out of your car,some one else can take it away and that to be in the comforts of the car are for a few blessed.But I see several people on the road.Sometimes I see abandoned cars,covered with dust and the driver missing-perhaps they took off riding the roads and took onto the pathway.People say wild tales of how they were lost for-ever.I have been driving on this road for long.I can fall asleep and still feel I am driving.Sometimes I feel I am always asleep.It rains,it snows,the sun shines through our windshields.We are always protected by our car and our safe to be on the road.As I stare at the wildness and the beauty that my road leads through,I sometimes feel the desire to get off the car and explore.Sometimes I feel I was not born to be on the car but to get out and explore-to find what lies beyond what meets the eyes,to let go of the map I poses and didn't want to.I tell myself I don't want to do that because my dad paid for the car and my safety and I found the rare map to a place I don't really want to be.Sometimes I tell myself I don't want to step out cause I don't know where to step into-the mountains,the river,the dessert,the meadows...I tell myself I don't know what I want.Sometimes I tell myself there are several others on this road and they are not stepping out and there is a reason I don't see as yet why they aren't doing it.I do not know what this journey is about,I have a map to a destination and people says it nice.But neither do I have a burning desire like some other travelers neither do I have the courage to step out of my car.I know I will be safe in my car,I know the roads lead to the destination.I know whats going to happen on this journey...I just keep driving and driving.But somehow I just do not feel happy about it.I was always told we need a car to take on the journey of life and that we would be blessed to be safe.But today I feel the safety of this car and the certainty of the road is killing me.

How to make a man smile for a picture...

2010-03-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

I was asked to write this article for WikiHow and I thought why not write it for my own blog first(selfish me!:-P)
Most men are not used to smiling for pictures,this is especially true if he is portraying the serious "guy" image(Unlike us women who are always giggling at silly things all the time:-P).Strangely this attitude gets carried over when they have stepped out of the role and are now asked to pose as a more soft,cheerful person.There are some exceptions to this rule though,ones that can gracefully change roles as needed.
HOW?
# TRICKING HIM--If you are his girl-friend and are trying to get him to smile for a picture,remind him of something funny that's happened between the two of you and strategically have the picture taken by someone else as you talk.
# TREATING HIM--A warm hug and long kiss might help him relax and be prepared for the task.Also note most male homo sapient species love food,a delightful scoop of vanilla over gulab jamun or a yummy tandoori thali might have the same effect as above.In both the above cases,ensure he does not know whats about to befall him.The above two scenarios works best for guys who are nervous about posing for picture as they would not know his moment of un-cautiousness is being clicked away.
# TEACHING HIM--This is for men who are not really afraid of the camera but just don't know how to smile.A little tickling(beware of barbaric men who think its a call to swing their clubs at you),juxtaposing a cardboard smile card over the appropriate facial area,showing him some pictures of the best smiles in the world(1.TRR's karadi smile 2.Sam Anderson's weak smile 3.Vijay's youth smile 4.RJ Shiva's world conquering smile)might build the confidence for his own smile.
# THREATENING HIM--This works if the above suggestions don't work in your favor.Every guy has his own fears and if you are someone trying so hard to get to smile,you will know what are his.Use it!!Get the dude to smile please.
WARNINGS!
# While following the "treating him" ensure your photographer clicks the appropriate moment,not when your man is indulging himself awkwardly in a piece of chicken or when you are hugging him
# While following the"threatening him",remember that female versions of threat are not really the males version too.E.g:Threatening to make him watch "Yaruko Yaro--the step knee" three times in a row is more of a delight for the species and might fall into "treating him".

Blessed...

2010-01-06T17:13:00.000-08:00

I looked out and watched the dark clouds
Clasping my heart by now filled with doubts
Of an impending danger I know not but soon
Fall on me before the light of moon
With bated breath I heard the voice on the phone
Heart started weeping by then hearing the tone
I cried and cried and felt the pain wallow me
Then I saw the things that I didn’t want to ever see
Its been there lurking around the dark clouds
Then came the lightening and rain of tears
It was the worst night of my life
Despite it all looking back now it feels rife
How wonderful the journey has been from there
All it took was to hope with my heart and dare
To call quit and move on….
To blisfully wake up to see a sunny dawn
Cause no matter what life must go on
Time is healer-slow yet strong
That which I thought was a loss and a curse upon me
Is today a blessing in disguise and a path to true glee

One Night...

2009-04-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

Standing confidently at the podium
My own insanity I couldn't fathom
Looked at the bright stars lighting up the night sky
From the beauty and the peace my eyes I couldn't untie
My gaze fell on the empty gallery
Lit by the streetlights hardly
I felt like a thousand people sat there
Heard the cheering and applause from nowhere
I had just played my first song on the guitar
To the trees,the lake and night sky-bizzare
But I felt a strange life in front of me
And a secret connection with the thing-destiny
The cold winds,the bright stars,the smell of the lake
Stirred the sleeping soul within me wide awake
As I walked back on the lonely pathway
There was a smile and strange peace I dare downplay

Narcissist ..

2009-03-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

Googling random search strings for fun
As I wait for my code build to run
My eyes are moving at a fast pace
Looking for a soulful place
To find in the vast ocean of the web
Been doing this from last feb
No matter what I enter...
The results my blog not render
And I have only this space to vent
So friends please do comment:D

Small Stuff....

2009-03-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

Every night when I made my wishes

I would silently listen to the trees hushes

I always prayed it stay that way

Colored flowers on its branches lay

The tree stood green and tall

Had admired its every blossom before fall

Watered it morning and evening

Protected it from the street kids harming

I knew one leaf from another

Had seen it through all weather

I hated my neighbours envious glances

At all my showeing manure and love filled advances

I loved my blooming tree

In my life it brought some glee

So much so that I forgot my garden

And by drought and sunlight all other plants did harden

While I nourished and watered my tall tree

My love I showered on it on and on

One day at my window as I sat on…

The neighbours gal ran and plucked the low hanging bud

“O spare the poor little bud alone,it would hurt” I said

“And its my tree” I proclaimed

“Your are mad” she blamed

“Look the tree stands inside my fence”

And then the truth hit hard slowly upon me

Looked at the shoot and never where the roots be

I had nourished and cherished my neighbours tree

The pain of loss it hurts,but its my fault I agree

We sometimes see things through our windows….

Rarely we walk over to it and look out

Small Steps….

2008-11-13T19:44:00.001-08:00

Transformation is an difficult art achieved one step at a time.As a kid I remember how one of my favorite song used to be a song one of my teachers taught me…
“Day by Day,in every way we shall become better and better and better,and so help me god”.I had since been fascinated by the idea of doing one deed today that will outdo the achievements of yesterday,one extra effort,one little extra mile you can stretch yourself from the person you were yesterday!When the sky falls on us(highly exagerratedJ),and there is no hope any more,the only thing needed is to do one little thing that will make you feel good about yourself and then life brings in new hope and new direction.Well…I know its not that easyJ but definitely worth trying and till date I have not regreted trying.We often set the boundaries of our life,draw our skies limit,our oceans depth,our deeds reach,our emotional potentials.We believe most things are finite and thus limit ourself.Well….some people associate it to our lack of understanding of infinity.Remember,how as kids we refused to accept the number system doesn’t end it and runs to infinity which can really be anythingJ.I kind of grew up believing in the limitations of my potentials and most often forcing myself to believe in societys perception of myself.Well,that’s precisely where I and most people go wrong….in failing to realise that these stereotyping of people is essentially a one time incidental judgement which then comes to stay on us for ever if many buy into it.As a kid,I was really shy and then one day I was asked to participate in a debate,I was way too scared and couldn’t believe I would pull it off.It took a lot of encouragement from my dad and his own belief in my capabilities that I later went on to represent my school and college successfully in debates.My mentor-my dad always taught me one little thing which I hold fast to at times of despair-Nothing works like successJ.I have learnt it the hard way in life,but yeah Nothing sure works like successJ……Well….if you are wondering what this blog was all about…It was about me taking a small step to keep my blog aliveJ

Chronicles of a desi student

2008-02-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

Phase 1: Money!

Free rides from desi community, free lectures inspired by Swades on how Mohan in NASA can still work here and donate money for PHILIPs bulb in Indian village(instead of making the entire village waste weeks on building the dam and also having to brilliantly identify the cause of bulb not lighting),constant rupee to dollar conversion which might result in stomach ulcer, hunger, lack of rational thought, delusion and finally disabling the conversion calculator off one’s mind.

Phase 2: Chaos and Coupling!

Friday nights- free beer and free music. Some hit the dance floor empowered by their new found freedom from their introverted selves (courtesy:beer) ,ambitious few venture out on the mating game….the choices in direct correlation to ones geographical origin…desi,American desi to eventually the others. Some succeed, some pass out dreaming they did. Then there are other I know well who cry watching their classmates drink and dance…”o my your liver, I need you to be alive until I complete that project” or “Can you count this?”.

Phase 3: Getting busy

This is the phase that would constitute most of the stay here for an “average” grad student. It’s the time when your reading papers in the bus and no longer have the time to be awestruck by the couple making out in the seat in front. You get used to seeing the finer experiments of permutation and combination mating….provided to do have the time to notice! Then there are those days that seem like nights and nights that seem like days thanks to snow and loads of work. You get to meet some awesome people and learn new stuff.

(to be continued….after further experiments :))

Where Dreams come true!

2008-01-09T14:52:00.000-08:00

Oops jumpstarting my half dead brain can be a cumbersome task, as is always when I update my blog after aeons. I began this year with a visit to the place where supposedly dreams come true-Disney Magic Kingdom. After having spoiled my plans to spend new years eve at Magic Kingdom by arriving at the gates at 8:00 sharp when the theme park opened but was already over crowded and access restricted, I spent the first new year eve in my life in a hotel room all alone!!!Even as the cracker show in a nearby resort adorned the view outside my hotel room,I promised that no matter what I would make my dreams come true this yearJ.So I made it to Magic Kingdom the next day and surprisingly it was not crowded and the weather was pleasant. With a little planning one can over almost all the rides over there and that’s what I did except for one I so badly wanted to go-Space Mountain.But definitely the thing not to miss are the shows.I loved each of them especially the Cryomagic show at night.It was just fantasy with lights.Of course one should not miss posing in front of Cindrella’s palace and capturing it on cameraJ.There were no spine chilling rides unfortunately, but most do rekindle the child in you and make you laugh.Monsters Inc Laugh Floor was really funny, I would not want to let you know too much about it but you sure must try it out.Here my 4 top pick rides.

P.S: They may not be the best but they made me laugh a lot.If you are looking for serious fun:) keep away from this kingdom.

Mickeys Pilhar Magic ----very cute

Monsters Inc Laugh Floor---surprise,if you are lucky you will be blushing the rest of the day!

Splash Mountain----wet!

Space Mountain- I missed it

Insomnia?

2007-06-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

Ok! Right when I thought my blog is dead
An idea popped off when I was in bed
I was on the floor surprised and zapped
Felt the need to revive my spirits sapped
Sat to write about flying away from here
Of all the excitement of my peers near
Wanted to write about home and friends
Of all those crest, troughs and dents
Those cheap supermarkets I flock often
After having learnt to bargain, the fun
Of my sweet days with my cousins
Those crappy plays of mine, my sins!
Good old days awed by the beaches
Of all those undying patriotic speeches
Of reasons why I should not leave this place
Of how I am running away form the toughest race
Of all the challenges, life here has helped me face
Of how no matter where I go I might not change my ways
Of so many things that spam my mind at one go
Of things I know and don’t know
I thought long hard enough
But couldn’t give words to the stuff
So I am here right in the middle of a nap
Don’t expect anything better but me to crap

Muddled Musings....

2007-02-22T20:52:00.000-08:00

Oops!It happened again
When i was trying to avoid the pain
Talking straight,its not my style
Atleast i have believed so for a while
My silence kills the rapid chatter
Of my own confused grey matter
Just when i let it go
It came back at me,like a foe
I wonder whats wrong
I can no longer hear my own song
I feel,act and do things
Not like i used to,it now rings
On an unexpected night with breeze
Questions!!! my facade unfreeze
I thought i was at peace
Fooled myself,with my acting ease
Questions they hurt me now
Answers to them,find do i how
Wish i could open out
But the pressure within is too tout
Sometimes its those undieing wounds
My wings to myself it bounds
I wish i could talk
Importantly walk the walk
I wish i could find reasons
Not just stuff, my ego pleasen
I wish i was my stupid self
Not act like a learned elf
I wish i came through
And never as care about rue
I know the consequences too
The pain,it would not be new
Then i choose to be what i was
And let that uneasy moment pass
I wish i could fly away far from here
But then to take on the radars of my boat, steer
Is something i have refused to do all my life
And the agony of it now sounds rife
To row my boat and set sail
To where i dream even if i fail
I look to right and then left
Into my boat with my own tears wet
I wonder where is the thing i seek
Then onto the depths of me i take a peek
Ah!What a mess has it been
Cluttered my soul with things unseen
Do all of us need a goal to lead
From where we are,finally to death heed
Do i have a map to the destination i seek
The destination?!I ask myself meek
There was a time long time ago
With dreams,goodness,optimism and no woe
I dreamed of the empire i wished to create
With bated breath for this year i did wait
Now i faintly want to remember my dreams
With realities of life,fear clouds it seems
Time to clear myself i say
Back the oars onto the boat i lay
Now,again time will make its own way
Take me somewhere it chooses today
And the viscious cycle would go on
I dont want that to happen
I dont want to sit back and watch
And not count my chickens before they hatch
I want to dream tonight
Stand up for them when time right
I want to follow my heart
And try to, for a start
Tomorrow the dawn will come
Away from the questions i wont run
Face them for speaking from heart and not fun
And accept whatever it bring
And life would go on...........
...............
I dont know yet i say
Inside and outside what lay
But this time around,i would own
The oars of my boat and row
To the heights of the sky or sea below
Either way i would tell myself
I tried!

In the guile of a Software Engineer!!!!

2006-10-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

P.S:All comments below should be taken with a pinch of salt and are subjected to slight exaggeration!!!

Well it seems like it was 300 A.D when I last blogged!Its been 3 months since I joined MSIT here, in my own very college where I did my UG and it is a completely eye opening venture. The first few days at PG Hostel (aka Puchi hostel) was completely entertaining. We spent most of the days trying to wash clothes, share goodies brought from home and test the mess food on the dogs. Most of the nights one of my neighbors recreated star wars and we often witnessed a brave pretty gal battle a zillion lizards, cockroaches and other weird insect like things. With a broom in one hand and a hit bottle in another, she would run from corner to corner often powered by a squeal from another timid being as me. Now, months later having shared living space with a zillion species, some that National Geographic would want to feature in their next episode of “Species that migrated from Africa to….”Some inalienable truths I learnt in my short stay

The sweetest one never gets the sweets

Never let the UG juniors break the line (who ever told you, being kind is good manners, never had the mess in mind).You would have to wait until next week to eat.

Decision making is not difficult when in a small group

Member 1: So who is the next configurations manager?

Me: Well not me!

Member 1:not me either!

Me: “O God tell me who is the configurations manager of this very fine phase? A E I OU and that it you!”

Member 1:YOU!

Vastushaastra : Never sit next to the brightest one in class

The aftermath of not heeding to the above rule is getting pushed into unwanted projects with the brightest one!!!! Its jus the effect of the location!!!

Resource Utilization: Darkness might befall, but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

When there is a power cut in the mess, don’t worry about the fly that would garnish your curry as much as the extra ice-creams you can gobble down before the lights turn on and you find all the ice cups in the mess gone!

Wherever there is food, there are students waiting to get to it!

Be it when a very nice professor invited us to his wedding or when we were asked to attend a seminar or when we decided to visit our director at his house to discuss some important organizational issues, the burning question is “Is there food?”

The best tools for documentation ----Google, CTRL C+ CTRL V
If you closed one door, god opens the other.

Just when you struggled to evacuate the half million ant population that invaded your flask and chocolate powder,you find another army making its way to the fruits.

· Snakes love me!!!

Working on this Nobel research as to find why !!!After fruitless attempts to escape their sight, I catch them very often, at least in my nightmares!!!

I dream….

2006-03-15T21:25:00.000-08:00

All of us dream something or the other, here is one such dream. A nano dream of a little Indian girl. No…I dream not like Nehru –the midnight dream, I dream not like Dr.Kalam of development and growth….I am just an ordinary gal dreaming for her country the ordinary dream. One of my unfulfilled Indian dream is traveling in a empty (with place to sit ) Air conditioned bus, sitting on a seat not hay stacked over metal wishing I travel again but that would be an utopian fantasy so lemme go on…I wish… there be a time when I would be waiting at a public bus stand with routes mentioned on a board, at least that the posters covering them over still steal a glance at the routes I want(selfish me!).I wish they go all out of the way to make the busses stop at the bus stop, at least somewhere near it. I wish…. people queue in to get into the bus….at least don’t pull me down when I’m trying to get into one. I wish our people learnt to care for others, the old, the young, the weak hearted(like me)….at least not stamp over me when I fall on the road while climbing into a bus, okie…forget that, at least SEE what they are stepping on—a living thing, one that’s extra-sensitive and would probably thank them for not spitting on her instead of on the road on which she fell down. I wish I would once in a while be allowed to get into the bus….I have never quite seen the inside of a bus in months, standing near the footboard and on lucky days being permitted to stand somewhere near the conductor’s seat. I wish…women wouldn’t get harassed while traveling in public transport, at least other women or the victim herself raise their voice against it.I wish…people don’t get adapted to harassment so as to say…”it happens” ,nope it shouldn’t be happening! I wish…there were a concerned lot who would offer seat for the old, pregnant and sick, at least don’t push them through every time they climb in and out.I wish…little boys stopped thinking its fun to cling unto window grills(they later grow to be the impressing romeos) and stopped jumping down a running bus—true it’s Indian style to adapt to over-crowded busses and saving time getting down where you want. In fact there are many wise souls who justify this as efficiency increase—decreasing waiting time, increasing freight and even in the worst case decreasing population. On the other hand it would do good to develop some patience and take calculative risks. I wish…school gals learnt to flatten me up instead of my toes,that ache and smell after being autographed by their shoes. I wish….schools considered the space school bags alone occupy in public busses!!!I wish…then men learn to hold while satnding in the bus(wish they had been taught the law of inertia at school) and not fall right over the pretty female scarred to death already. I wish one wouldn’t be given vitriolic speeches for not carrying the right change. I wish…busses would no longer be the school to learn the perfect swearing words. For aeons people have been justifying this humility called traveling by public transport with a number of reasons—the cheap cost, country’s population and worse a mention of the starving million who wouldn’t even dream of traveling in such a bus(sure they are sensible).Infrastructure investment especially in public transport would go a looong way in feeding the starving millions and meanwhile some of us can live with grace and peace of mind. You can say it’s a small wish but in it lies a HUGE change! Developing a little common sense, a little care for other beings, learning to be polite, making the right decisions, being a bit more responsible and far more making yourselves proud of your country and its transport. Well….its just a wish, at least I wish director Shankar considers me for his next project. whatdya say?

Instilling fear…!

2006-03-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

Among the species that inhabit my neighborhood is a little girl, the young one of a homo sapiens with qualities inherited from an ape ancestor. Having been 1 year since it landed on this side of the solar system it now has began what I had been dreading most…walking first into my house and then into my room! Having now been blessed with the independence to choose her visit to my place, she perpetually lives here. By the way I am no hater of children…so much that I love kids a lot. But the problem here is the clash of objectives of 2 kids-one within and the one outside. Objectives here literally means ensuring my helmet is not transformed into a bucket (worse a water closet),my keyboard not being made a surfboard and the burden of my bookshelf not being shifted to the dustbin. She leaves her trails everywhere…my torn record, the colour splashed walls, opened up every Pandora’s box like my cupboard where all the skeletons have been hiding. It was at one such clash that I discovered the powerful weapon to control her, and as I came to realize probably control anyone else! The weapon of “the fear for the unknown”.In her case the “patcha”(might rhyme similar to badshah but has nothing to do with him)!The “patcha”,the Malayalam word for cockroach. She was awe-struck to see this omnipresent and similar species(J).Being surprised initially by its flight when she tried to catch it, I made up this story about how it grows in size everyday if kids didn’t listen to elders(read: me).With a little exercise of her imagination, to this little girl it began to mean something close to giant sized two tusked creature that walks through my home invisible until little kids stopped behaving themselves. It goes beyond my memory how I convinced her of such an existence but this little one who once walked the planet unmoved by fear had for the first time sowed within her my strange card of control. Though she didn’t change overnight, it gave me a sadistic pleasure to watch her look at me every time she climbed on my laptop and then say…”patcha?”.If I nodded, she would hesitate for a second, then climb down and run into my arms and open her hands to mean…BIG patcha. My mom resented me scaring up a poor little kid with wild stories and my dad insisted I tell her that they are no such things .It set me thinking….like when I was made to fear the darkness with wild stories of demons. Initially there were the white dress clad, long haired, Colgate teethed, funny creatures from Chandralekha,then they invaded all life on earth-snakes, lizards, none were freed. Even when you realize at some point that those ghost stories and the ghost movies that caused some certification of their existence were but animated deceit, doesn’t it still scare you when you walk alone at midnight through a deserted road. Consider watching a movie at 12 midnight unaware of the storyline when someone tells you it’s a horror movie…every scene from then on would set our heartbeat setting new records. All of us fear something…darkness, semester, commitment, crowds, and every often ourselves. In agent smiths terms-“deceit of perception”. Though most fear comes from within, a lot of it is instilled into our mindset externally. Hasn’t someone or the other at some point of time been sadistic enough to make of stories about paranormal “real” happenings. Then they made us fear fear..blame “darna mana hai”.Fear is the genesis of all evil, a depressant, a handicap to take on life’s endeavors. I am wondering if should break it on her, she’s been asking me to misbehave so that she can catch a glimpse of the “patcha” eating people. Phew! wish I asked that as a kid, wouldn’t have grown up to be this scared. Even as I am typing this I receive an mail, one of those spooky messages with a video of a ghost in motion. She’s asking me what it is. My dad was right I needa tell her about the non-existence of the giant patcha…atleast so until spielberg rediscovers it. As I desperately forward the mail to foes and friends alike,I’m thinking if patcha has found its successor, wouldn’t hurt much would it? Atleast I wouldn’t feel like I made it all up myself!!!!

The cut!!!

2006-02-24T22:23:00.000-08:00

Finally I made up my mind

A new hairstyle I need to find

Cut from the corner a little unfair

Brought onto me many a stare

Remedial measures many I did

And indeed opened up Pandora’s lid

The girl at the mirror knocks my senses

Know what! time to change the lenses

Counting my blessings….

2006-01-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

When I walked into college as this very immature dreamy kid who thought any college was the average Karan Johar set,and no more books,no more study and yes…no more responsibility.Its been 4 years since then(is my maths wrong??) and a many times a happy and sad journey.Finally….hopefully in the next few months I would be graduating( if sem 7 & 8 goes all right),a great relief to 4 years of unending tension and passion(?? ) to achieve (read -clear the papers) and to understand oneself better (I jus cant do math for nuts,pathetic at programming and entirely nocturnal…should have college timings changed).The days of fun are coming to an end…true they had to…but not this soon!!The rolla-coater rides to my college(heard who dares wins wanna get 1 of r buses 4 an episode),an in”SIGHT”ful vision into the horizons of IT revolution along the coasts of chennai , unperturbed sleep - courtesy radio-mirchi,the canteen puffs,pulao,biryani….different names but same taste,the numerous dogs that sat through our math class(that wasn’t any pun),the air-conditioned libraries…well I spent a major chunk of my college life in the library alone…but never with the slightest intention of reading books,leave alone checking the stock!My college has been a lucky place to be inhabited by some beautiful creatures-slithering snakes,cats,horses(some say there r cows…watever),friends of apesJ.College has given me some of the best birthdays…the surprise cake(hehe I was expecting that),the birthday bumps(didn’t even dream abt tht),getting pushed into a pool and traveling 4 hrs in a crowded bus completely drenched!!!The little surprise parties for friends,some of them flopping.The innumerable silly fights(funny to think of the reasons),those hard days,those embarrassing things(flopping before a review nd trying unsuccessfully to faint)!!But….honestly the thing that makes me sad about parting are …the people!Some best buddies, some good friends,some were not anymore…but still I would miss them, every single person I came across.College is the perfect learning place for those of us who failed to learn lessons from our relationships at school and yes..those that failed to make relationships at schoolJ.College is the right place to make mistakes,to know from the eXperienced what went wrong and at the same time feel not feel small.Atleast you can always escape from your fallacies claiming you are still underage.It beats to repeat this but the greatest thing college teaches us is about people and strangely in a way about ourselves,our attitudes to these people.I personally have been lucky that truck load of the nicest people I met have been in college!So,the billion dollar question…will distance keep us apart?Think as I might to swirl into flash-back and peep into “keeping touch” as a chapter from the past…best friends remain so,though as years go by we find lesser number of people to complain about and lesser we gossip with!Gossip?!To many it might sound incoherent…but trust me some of the best friendships are born outta common passions….as my inherent passion for gossip.An INTEREST that can take on any kinda info..the only quote that comes to mind now is….senthil’s famous dialogue in Boys…”Information is wealth”.Anyway,cutting this discussion short as far as gossip goes I can just go on and on.Loveya all!Thank u folks and yesas far as college.…”everything that has a beginning has an end” r’nt semester a matrix too!

Do your karma!

2005-07-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

I’m not an entirely spiritual person,but one question that I often was fascinated with from ever since I came to know my parents didn’t buy me from the department store along with my dolls, is “what am I here for?”. ... I was sitting in class trying hard not to listen to the sweet lullaby, the continuous vibration of the vocal cords of my lecturer.Not that I don’t like lullabies but slumber comes to me naturally and anything forced is not quite relishable.My friend sitting beside, was quite lost into the ceiling,I’m sure she would have escaped out and now be somewhere near the Andromeda (there particularly coz that’s the only name I know). I wondered why I was never blessed with such a boon of escapism…look into the ceiling as if pondering on what the lecturer just said about Japanese economy!Dream and run what you want in that private space but also give the lecturer unfound joy on keen thinking and reflection.The result- they never question you nor even try to stare at you…atleast you wont know if they did!With the newspaper below my desk, an incomplete crossie on the desk,and the lecturer staring right at me(I dunno it always seems to me like that),and asking to be acknowledged every half-minute…I was completely confused!I was making one of the greatest choices of my life- if I should indeed pull the paper up and turn over the pages since I had been gaping for too long at the headlines,which by the way I don’t read…reading the newspaper to me essentially means catching up with page 3 news…who’s out with whom,what’s been the hottest party,what people were upto last night when I went to bed!My interest in current AFFAIRS has evolved over the years taking a special interest on the global scenario!I looked around,nodding my head in confirmation as the lecturer looked on!There were far more intelligent people around me in class,and that often gives me a inferiority complex…esp watching the guy next to me sleep right in front of the teachers nose!He would be soon be woken up by the one next to him ,whose changing the cds on his mp3 player…by the way I should let you know,these guys are my class toppers,True didn’t they say…”sleep while u sleep,mug while everyone else sleeps”.Anyway coming back to the sad opera,sorry it was just one long lullaby,I pushed the paper back into the desk with frustration.The futility of the hour was getting on my nerves,everyone around me was doing some thing useful…like the girls in front who were moving on to an “n”th game of tic-tac toe….or like the girls behind who were still giggling at a weird thing that happened zillion years ago!I looked at my desk-mate whose mind alone by now would have done NASA proud.The guy to the right who by now had woken up and yawned aloud saying “pass the paper”.. I looked at the staff,she looked around to see the source of the noise and then merely continued!!!Sometimes these people completely take me by sirprise,if it were me,as a computer scientist(that’s what they say we gonna become after we leave college) by the worst case and best I would have been send out!Or so I have believed in my three year existence in college!I looked at him, then her, then him then her and then the bell rang!All sleeping and lost souls arouse,enlightened by the divine call of the bell, for it was time to peform their karma of existence in college which essentially involved saying 2 words and sometimes there were others who took the burden of helping friends do it, by changing their very own voice and repeating the golden words!In my small journey life,in that one moment I realized the soul purpose of my “existence”.…the ritual of having to say “yes ma’am”!

Whose shoe is it anyway?

2005-07-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

A few days back my little cousin and me were discussing about our future(her’s essentially lying in what would be the fate of shahid and kareena) and then she dropped this bombshell on me.Innocent she is…she asked me “so have you been in love?”.With the initial build-up of “me…hehe no way” and all,I just thought backward.That made me re-collect some memories I dumped in the attic long before I joined college.The guy in brown shoes!!Well…a statutory warning to all the guys reading this blog.You might not like the contents of this article especially if you are wearing brown shoes..:),and let me tell one of my alert readers that no I’m not crapping when I write stuff that run inside the top floor of a woman’s mind(often lighted by a bulb.. like in my case).When I and many such girls were young and tender and grew up watching crappy tamil (added to the junk of hindi )movies….we created the hazy guy in clean brown shoes!He always wore brown shoes and I should say with deja-vu it seemed like he had been there in somewhere in ddlj (the mother of all long songs hindi movie),in that very train that kajol nearly missed…probably he pulled her in…I’m not too sure:).The guy I had been in love with for three long years of my life. Our’s is what tamil cinema potrays as “deiviga”(sorry no duets for u) love.Never met,never spend quality time…so much so that I don’t even know his fullname….and as usual my premonition says it sounds like “shawruk khan”!Well for those who are still reading and wondering if it was love at first SIGHT….nah…we fell in love after he died in a shootout for the cause of humanity(3 hrs of taking a thriller hindi movie is quite too much)…even as I cried over the fact that he had of all things passed away on a lady’s lap and someone else at that. But then some people never die…I think someone bought my prayers(karan johar may be) and he came again with a second life playing basket-ball and as always he basketed my heart…strange how are love grew,and very weird cause we never met!But then he always knew…gez trr style(sonalthan kadala).But then our sweet romantic interlude was cut short by the villan of all times(nah its not amrish puri)….the BOARD EXAMS!!!Board exams the eternal viallan of quite a few love stories like mine.Throwind up a stunt right before the climax(the Preboard exams) my sweet lover broke his crown(not literally the KING rules…like in his torn poster on my wall)…and the torture of having to do it myself has quite affected me(aftermath:I suffer from selective amnesia!...esp when it involves re-calling in a networks paper ).And to those who are looking for kerchiefs around….nah I believe in true love and so you can keep your condolences with you!When you love someone they’ll come back to you(like a ghost probably ) when it is time(when you done with all the villans masked as exams)and hence I thought out loud and said…”may be….a guy in brown shoes…but i dont know his name!”

Learn it by hand!

2005-07-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

A few days back I had been to my hideout…the Marina Beach. The place, where waves of impact hit us hard- where poor and rich converge, where talent meets innovation,the place where everything comes in “pair”(no puns intended)-a place bubbling with human emotions of all kind…some mourners, some teenyboppers, some fun-lovers,some lovers,and others who make the seashore they livelihood!It’s the later who interest me most.The kite-sellers who ran around flying kites and singing song(aka rajni style “koku para…”).The sundal guys who sell “kadalai”(boons when you cant make a conversation)…to those running outta it!The palmist who reads your mind more than your palm…and best knows how to make your day!You should really try it out on a very bad day….you’ll land up hearing stuff worth more than 20rs…like you are smart,diligent,and there’s power within(they make it sound like you are neo right outta matrix and it is morpheus enlightening u ).Going by the law of probability the palmist(a she essentially ) would to every 1 in 2 gals say, they are in love and would decide soon about taking their relationship to success…I wished always it were that simple!If u bought sundal and bhel combo then you are one spend thrift …nope not really madam they were got from coupons from our college quiz(I wish they did atleast that). If u just spoke your mind about palm-readers to her…you are one talkative girl.(man! She ust be an oracle how did she gez that?!) My friend impressed by the relevance of the readings to her life…(if only I knew she would get this impressed I would have become her personal palmist long time back and made more relevant predictions…”this week you’ll be spending much” …with your treats due…and all)…decided to go in for the ADVANCED package…extra readings(like smelling ur perfume and saying “u like lavender”) for extra money! She asks u to choose a color or flower or number you like best and then she can tell u what your husbands name starts with!!!(Trust me by all probability it’s the same she would say irrespective of the choice you make….sorry she goes by your appearance).I sincerely wonder how marital portals never found her…she’s big buck man!Like any sales expert trying to tempt the customer with sample benefits she would merely look at the most silent person in a group and say…”I have got news for you…(but we got paper this morning ma’am)…my mind says I have to look at your palm(hehe…your clothing says it all,I’ll predict it all just the way you would believe)”.And here finally for the benefit of visitors to my blog who are to be treated with a free reading of their palms, with the clairvoyance and insights into the conversation of the beach-palmists….first categorize your hand…there are 3 types of hands:
1).The low waist jeans clad :
*you have been breaking quite a few hearts(I just saw that guy who almost got carried into the sea watching you )
*there is a guy waiting in your life(infact at this point there quite a few all around)
*though sweet you are(u are paying me a 20),you tend to spent a lot(quite that low-waist …!)
*don’t listen and buy easily what people say(are u listening?)
2). The salwar saree combo:
*you are sweet(ditto reasons from above),docile(u listening?)
*you would be one “SRIDEVI” at your in-laws place(hey!think seen sridevi wear that before)
*you would marry the guy your parents choose(reads the sad look on face)…whom you would love(now I’ll be getting my 20)
3).The confused hand(especially when you are wearing a jeans and kurta)
you are sweet(“),creative(I’m confused by your dressing)
you are extremely confused by your love life(like how I’m by your dressing sense)
you’ll soon decide how the guy of your life(I cant guess what!)and your parents will agree(to avoid the confusion…actually you are a confusing gal)
Hmm...yeah as for ADVANCED reading check out at Marina.