My adventures with nothing...

Several years ago my dad took me to a car shop.He insisted I needed a car for the journey of life.He choose the most reliable,safe and luxurious car.I was not even sure I wanted to drive a car on this journey called life.I had all along been dreaming a different dream.While at the store I picked this rare map to a exotic location.Despite not really intending to travel there I got it as it was on a good deal and knew several others would die for it.So then I took to the road and have been driving ever since.The road is smooth and the views are great.The car is luxurious and fully loaded.I often see several fellow travelers on their sometimes bigger and better cars.Some are happy,some inexpressive(that's what I call them),some with company,some all alone.They all seem to have their eyes on the road.Initially we used to carefully watch out and re-check on the guidelines on our map.Soon we realised all we had to do was to follow the road and it will take us to our destination.There are no turns,no bumps,just smooth straight road with a lot of traffic.We pass mountains,rivers,wonderful fields laden with flowers and bees.We just stop by once in a while to take pictures but we never step out of the comforts of our cars.I paste these pictures on the dashboard as a memory of where I have been.Sometimes it makes me wonder why I never stepped out...out into the fields laden with flowers,played in the meadows nearby,swam in the river or climbed the mountain.I tell myself I paid for the car and the map.The moment I step out,I am in danger,I might lose my car.We were told when we started on this journey that the moment you step out of your car,some one else can take it away and that to be in the comforts of the car are for a few blessed.But I see several people on the road.Sometimes I see abandoned cars,covered with dust and the driver missing-perhaps they took off riding the roads and took onto the pathway.People say wild tales of how they were lost for-ever.I have been driving on this road for long.I can fall asleep and still feel I am driving.Sometimes I feel I am always asleep.It rains,it snows,the sun shines through our windshields.We are always protected by our car and our safe to be on the road.As I stare at the wildness and the beauty that my road leads through,I sometimes feel the desire to get off the car and explore.Sometimes I feel I was not born to be on the car but to get out and explore-to find what lies beyond what meets the eyes,to let go of the map I poses and didn't want to.I tell myself I don't want to do that because my dad paid for the car and my safety and I found the rare map to a place I don't really want to be.Sometimes I tell myself I don't want to step out cause I don't know where to step into-the mountains,the river,the dessert,the meadows...I tell myself I don't know what I want.Sometimes I tell myself there are several others on this road and they are not stepping out and there is a reason I don't see as yet why they aren't doing it.I do not know what this journey is about,I have a map to a destination and people says it nice.But neither do I have a burning desire like some other travelers neither do I have the courage to step out of my car.I know I will be safe in my car,I know the roads lead to the destination.I know whats going to happen on this journey...I just keep driving and driving.But somehow I just do not feel happy about it.I was always told we need a car to take on the journey of life and that we would be blessed to be safe.But today I feel the safety of this car and the certainty of the road is killing me.